It has taken me a while to get to this place.
The past two weeks have been rough. For those of you that have been following along this year you know that my body has put a major dent in my 2014 plans. From a stress reaction in my hip in January, to a recovery that took waaaay longer than expected, to a post-menapausal lady diagnosis, to a muscle strain I felt in my right groin when I finally thought I was getting back into things.
And now, almost a year since I have felt 100%…. I have another stress fracture. I spent almost 8 months getting one hip to feel good again and now a fracture (and a pretty bad one at that) in my opposite hip.
I mean c’mon body! Why?! I feel hurt, upset, mad, sad, alone, crazy and locked inside a body that won’t allow me to do what I love. For the first time I have felt jealousy for people I see running on the streets. For people who can lace up a pair of shoes and just go! How badly I want that freedom. That feeling.
Of course there is a part of me that wishes this year would have been different. It has been extremely challenging at times to stay positive, to be present and to give my best to what I do and the people around me. And… I have learned a lot.
I have learned that the people who love me are going to keep loving me no matter what (even if I am grumpy and upset a lot).
I have learned that I actually can’t get through some things on my own. ^Those people who love me, I need them.
I have learned that that just being around human beings can make a day better.
I have learned that self-care is sooooooooooo necessary.
I have learned that finding ways to love myself besides my achievements, appearance and occupation is 1. not easy and 2. also necessary.
And I have learned that actually nothing makes me feel the way a run, a long ride or a successful race does. And because of that I believe I will never look at movement, health and workouts the same. Health is a gift not a given.
Although I can’t do a lot of what I want right now I am thankful that I am healthy enough to wake up every day and take care of myself. I am thankful that I can swim. I am thankful that this is not a permanent situation.
Above all else I am thankful for those people who have helped me get through this year and are still around supporting me and encouraging me every single day.
Oh ya, Happy Thanksgiving!
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